Outlet

It's Been a While

Sun, 16 Nov 2008 07:55:57 GMT

Remember me???

haha

So, we moved...in May. Just to another town outside the Springs.

I quit one job (being a trainer was great! but expensive! and people are too lazy and financially tight!), got another job at a supplement shop for a big-name ex-wrestler that closed the shop after I was there for 2 months, and here I am again in a new job.

But this one's a keeper. I'm a tech at the behavioral hospital downtown. I work with the children/adolescents going though an acute crisis. It's chaotic some days, but I absolutely love it.

Plus it's the only job a BA in psych will get me right now. But that's a whole other, less random post.

Don't have much to say, actually, just felt the need to talk.

Cheers.

Memorial Weekend

Sat, 24 May 2008 13:47:38 GMT

So I posted my pix in a couple comms, and I wanted to post it here, but then you'll be seeing the same thing on your Friends Page and I know that is uber-annoying! I've tried corss-posting but I couldn't get it to work...I guess you can check out female_muscle, womenofstrength and dailyexercise if you wanna view them...

Anyways, so I've done some deep thinking these past couple hours. I closed the shop at 7, got to Bally at 7:15 (I was supposed to have a 7:30 client), and when I got there the weekend manger, A, was with a couple walk-ins so he said, "Hey, can you go into Daycare, I guess J fell or something." And sure enough, J was on the floor, laying her side moaning, holding the hand of D, our night cleaning guy. S, the other daycare worker, was pacing and flustered. I made sure S called 911, let D hold J's hand while I supported J's back and talked to her. They said she fell on her hip, and there was a nasty bruise there, so I had S get an icepack that I held on J. The EMTs arrived, and they said they were impressed with how well I handled everything in there (unfortunately, S had forgotten about the little girl that was still in there, so I had to comfort the poor little babe while the EMTs were putting all sorts of wires into J). They took her off the to hospital, I made the phone calls to her family, and worked out while we waited to hear if she was ok. No one saw it happen, so we pulled up the video, and she had been trying to adjust the rug by herself, then tripped over it. Not a hard fall, she was only 5'1", but she was 81 yrs old. Here's what I was thinking::

J had been there for over 30 years. I understand that you have to keep busy and active into old age, but I'm wondering how you continue to do such demanding work once you've hit ultimate frailty---she was a tiny tiny old woman!!! It's terrible that accidents have to happen like this...which got me thinking about old people, and how this is Memorial Weekend, where many cities have flags and picnics and parades, and I thought of this pic

and how we enjoy celebrating the holiday but don't actually HONOR those it was created in memoradum for.

Then, last night while praying, hubby mentioned those who have lost someone in the service, and I realized *stupidly* that many many many people we know have been lost these past couple years because they took a job in the military. It's not just the WWII vets, those who survived Korea, men who fought in Vietnam...it's everyone. It's all those in the service right now. And it's all our friends' families who are trying to move past the roadside bomb or freak helicopter crash that happened overseas last week.

Don't forget to remember the reason we're picnicing and relaxing on Monday.

Recent Life

Mon, 19 May 2008 23:50:40 GMT

Oi, it's been awhile!

We had to disconnect our internet and cable since we were moving...it suuuucked because we were supposed to move Fr 9 May, but they pushed it back until Thrs 15 May, so everything was packed up for over a week. Bleh. Pulte Homes has wonderful houses, but never use their mortage company, they're slow as molasses!

So that was this past week. Packing, cleaning, moving. Didn't go into work too often, and didn't workout too often (although I definitely count packing and cleaning and moving and unpacking...it was JUST me packing and cleaning, and ONLY my husband and I moving! LOTS OF HARD WORK). I did get in a couple of good hikes and runs...and some good paying hours.

Stressssssssful!

I should have been on here more, especially since I could have invited ya'll to Lashley's to meet Cathy LeFrancois this past Sunday

http://www.cathylpriest.com/

She was massive! Bobby even said he felt intimidated by her, and he's still friggin' a monster himself ;P

That's about it...gonna start cleaning up shop in a bit here...missed ya'll!

Hump Hump Hump

Wed, 07 May 2008 14:59:40 GMT

And what a hump of a week to get over....rabid emotions, frustrations, packing for moving, burning sun and dark thunderheads.

I've been crying a ton lately. I've always been very emotional, even before I hit the adolescent phase Mom would tease me about my "on/off waterworks switch". Then of course after the kitty started getting a nosebleed, the hormones kicked in and we all know how THAT goes. Add to that the fact that I've re-entered puberty

So I went to BGSU fall of 2005, started eating healthier and working out everyday==>130 lbs to 120 lbs (for me, a size 5/7 to 3/4). That summer, when D graduated from AIT and I went with his mom to pick him up, I was hovering around 118. A healthy 118. When D deployed to S. Korea that June 2006, I got uber-depressed, which meant I was eating less and less due to stress and trying to conquer that stress with exercise. By Aug, I was down to about 115. I was working graveyard shift 4-5 nights a week, taking 18 credit hours during the day and began obsessively exercising just to keep myself awake between classes. I should mention that July was the last time I had had my period. By Thanksgiving, I was down to a size 0/1, 103 lbs. I stayed there until Jan 2007, when I hit my all-time low of 98 lbs. Of course, I was freaking out about not having my period for a couple months, I was always cold, my hair was falling out, I was always tired and weak. So I started binging...and trying to be healthily gain weight...but by May I was all the way up to 145. Yeck. So then I figured I was normal-sized and could start eating good and working out. Once my body realized I was done killing it~~~and I gave up obsessing about it and handed it to God~~~it resumed "woman" status and all was flowing smoothly in Nov. 2007. Hence, I feel my emotions and hormones are out of control due to the fact that I re-hit puberty only 7 months ago.

and I suppose it makes sense that I get upset at the drop of a hat...or a client cancelling on me.

I do have a lot to get done, but the thing is, it will all get done. Sure, if it's not done by a certain time it may throw everything a bit out of whack. But the world will keep on spinning, and not making a deadline is really not that detrimental to my existance right now. I'm making money, doing my thing, settling in.

Overall, all is well.

Type A

Mon, 05 May 2008 00:47:18 GMT

My best friend pointed out to me last night that I'm the type of person that just isn't programmed to relax. Ever. I'm a Type A. And I donno why I never realized it before...

This past week has been crazy. The people at Bally are giving me sh!!t for having gotten another job, even tho they HAD been giving me sh!t about working all the time without people to train....and hubby's been sick, plus he worked a 24-hr shift, so he's crabby when he's awake but mostly he's been asleep today~slightly bumming because Sundays are our Date Day. But alas, I had to spend it alone...being so crabby, he came home at 9 and told me to wake him at 2, so I did, and being the wonderful wife I am, had "lunch but breakfast food" ready...to which he said I should have realized he's still sick and since he hasn't eaten in 3 days he can't eat much anyways, at which point I started crying and left...

It's a gorgeous day, and our past couple Date Days have entailed our hiking the Garden of the Gods or the Incline. So I head out for Seven Falls, 2.5 mi from our apartment...and somehow end up on a trailhead...and then an hour later I find myself at the TOP of Cheyenne Mountain...gorgeousness.

So, anyways, with being a Type A, when things don't go quite as planned, I get rather distraught. I've been taking these new fat burners to help me get my appetite under control so I can get off the last of the winter insulation, but I still find myself getting off-track because I'm upset...

Any good ways of just letting things out of your head...??? I think too much, I know that, but how do I learn to just chill???

In Good Hands

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 01:04:18 GMT

I hate to sound like a freak....but then again, what do I have to be ashamed of? Just don't think I'm pushing you into believing the same as I::this is just what faith I possess, and you can call it whatever you like---

About a month ago, hubby and I were discussing finances. See, we were stupid with our tax refund and just blowing money the first month we were together. Caaaaaaaame back to bite us in the butts (of course). We set up a budget, and started discussing buying a house because renting=money down the toilet, whereas owning=investment. We pray toegether every night before bed, so we offered it up to His hands...and we're closing on a townhouse May 9th; the payments start in July, and they're only $100 more per month than what we're throwing out in rent at the moment; our realtor is paying the rent penalty fees...

Last Thursday, hubby and I were discussing long-term plans of starting a gym, and how cool it would be if somehow we could get Bobby Lashley's Smoothies & Shakes involved

Bobby used to be a trainer at the Bally where I'm currently a trainer and is friends with the sales manager there. He was training at the Olympic Center here in town for wrestling, and you may recognize him from the WWE http://www.bobby-lashley.net/ Well, he's owned a smoothie and supplement shop 2 doors down from Bally for the past year, and just now opened an online version of the shop www.lashleynutrition.com

So then on Friday, when all my clients had cancelled for the day and I was just standing around loooking pretty {there was no one there to prospect and we need me to be making money!}, Bobby came in, asked why I was getting paid to do nothing when I could be working down at the shop and keeping it open for him...!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!

I love being a trainer, and I realize that building clientele takes time...but I need to be actually making money...and I believe in supplements...so today, I worked all day at Lashley's. I'll train all day tomorrow (possibly)...

Not gonna stress it. It's in His hands, of that I'm certain and He's guiding us into the right place.

And today;s our 4 Month Wedding celebration <3

Writer's Block: Happy Earth Day

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:51:37 GMT

What do you do EVERY day to take care of the earth's environment? What could you do more of?

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Well, I don't turn my eco-frienly lights on~or any lights~until I absolutely need them. I keep things without clocks unplugged during the day.

What I whant to know is::what are the corporations doing to reduce THEIR impact on the earth; I leave a footprint too, but theirs is way huge!

Life In a Nutshell::Bulletpointed

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 21:36:46 GMT

Just for an update on why I've been somewhat neglegent here:~:

A) working crazy hours and shifts
B) working out before and after said crazy hours and shifts
C) driving back and forth between Denver and here for 'career development'. Boo.
D) getting tons and tons of paperwork together so we can move into the townhouse we bought by the end of this month

Hopefully I'll breathe again soon! ;P

Always Two Sides

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 14:16:44 GMT

So remember in English or debate class when you HAD to sit there and listen to BoTh sides of the arguement's pros and cons? And no matter how good a job the rebuttal-ists had done, you were still convinced in your orginal position (most of the time ;)?

There is ALWAYS a flip side to your opinion. And ya know what? There's always a chance you could be wrong.

I think everyone should have to listen through both sides of whatever their opinion is. In real life.

Now, I understand that not all personal trainers are passionate about fintess and health to the point where they are working purely because they love this job and want to help people get healthier. At Bally, we may be calling and leaving you messages twice or three times a week to try to get you to redeem your free first workout...but you wanna know why? 1) The previous person to have called you may not have written down that they called, so you may get a re-call from a different trainer 2) I guarantee you that there is something you're not doing right~~otherwise you wouldn't have gotten out of shape in the first place~~and even if you're doing everything right nad just need a gym, there is always always always something to learn that will help you reach your goals faster 3) we want to teach you how to do do everything right so you don't injure yourself in any way 4) there's nothing else for us to be doing with our time other than making phones calls to schedule first workouts, giving first workouts, and hoping people buy real sessions so we can actually get paid.

Yes, my job and myself can annoy you because I'm correcting your form and calling to remind you about your free workout. It's as much of a bummer to me as it is to you! I hate pushing myself on people, so I try not to, but when I approach you with a smile on my face asking why you haven't called me back after you canceled our session together and when you want to reschedule, it makes ME feel like crap when you give me attitude and say "I don't need you". First off, it's rude to have canceled without warning. I waited that hour for you to show up and wasted my time on you. And if you don't want to workout, you what you can do??? Call and say, I'm not interested right now.

Personal training is expensive, I'll give you that. But I got to where I am today by plopping down some money I had saved to learn how to get lean and strong. People I watch in the club aren't doing half of anything right::do not lean over on any of the cardio machines! do not be using any weight machines besides the lat pulldown and tricep rope (unless you're over the age of 45)! do not be moving so slow on the cardio machines you might as well be sitting, and move slower with heavier weights because you're stronger than you think you are!

I LOVE what I do. I do not like that in the past 3 weeks I've been rejected and treated rudely more than I have all 20 years of my life.

Past Couple Days...Almost Eternity...

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 04:18:04 GMT

Thanks for the well-wishes, ya'll are such a sweet group who read my LJ =)

Well, as I had mentioned, the parentals and brother were here last week. We did Garden of the Gods, Pike's Peak, and Seven Falls...and although no one got altitude sickness, my father ended up going home sick with something, I spent all Saturday on the couch (well, I spent 4 hours doing damage control after they left, but that's only cuz I was moving so slow!) and finally hubby took me to the ER on Sunday where we found out I had bronchitis.

GGGGRRRRRRR.

Luckily, my clients had cancelled Saturday, and I had Sunday off, so today~~thanks to the doc~~I was so hopped up on drugs I got thru a whole 8 hour breakless shift, meeting with my one real client, one first workout who turned into a real client (YAY, sale!), a ton of phones calls setting up first workouts, and meet-and-greets for first workouts.

Came home to a decent dinner by my man...who completely overwhelmed me for an hour by talking about how we're meeting with a realtor on Saturday so we can chat about townhouses.

!!!!

We just moved here! I understand renting's a horrible investment...and I love the thought of our own home...but how about you mention it once or we chat for a bit over dinner about it, then we move on to other things. NOT go on and on and on about it from 7:20-8:30...then of course he went to bed while I do the dishes and play maid...oi.

Anyways, so the bronchitis sucks and I highly suggest not getting it. The drugs have soothed my urge to cough all the time, but that also means that when I need to cough I have to force it, and my throat is so dry I wanna scratch it out. Not to mention my nose is raw from all thise sneezing and blowing....yeck yeck yeck. Avoid it.

So that's that. Hopefully I'll be able to breathe again soon and be chipper once again. I apologize for the major amount of pissy ranting lately...the storm doesn't seem to be letting up...

Not Sure of A Headline...Randomness?!?!?

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:25:28 GMT

I hope ya'll had a great Easter!

My family (mom, dad and 'baby' bro~15.5 yrs old, 6'3") came in on Saturday night, did the whole Easter meal Sunday. I did ok on Sunday+it was a holiday and we did a 75 min walking hike that night+, but for some reason I came ultra close to completely blowing it Monday, then Tuesday, KaPoW! Blown up.

"For some reason"...I could give plenty of excuses. Eating my emotions::I know I do this, like Monday, I was tired because I had gotten to bed late and had to take Dan onto base so he could go to the field all week, then I had to go into work. And when I got home from work, my family wasn't home and I hadn't eaten while I was working (wasn't hungry) sooooooooo hey, why not chow. *The upside was that we went for an hour hike in the Garden of the Gods, then I lifted with baby bro Drew for an hour that night*. I KNOW that I was just tired and I WASN'T hungry...why can't I stop myself from eating?===Then Tuesday the same thing happened. Not enough sleep, big breakfast, no food all day at work, no one home when I got off of work so heeey chow.

The emotions here that I try to drown? Tiredness. Loneliness~~it's only for a week, and it's nice having my family here, but having Dan gone and them in his place reminds me why I was slightly fat/overweight all my life, as they love to eat cookies and fast food and cheese and chips and chocolate and ice cream; great for my high-metabolism bro who can't keep weight on to save his life, not good for moi, who's used to only enough healthy food for meals; living the way we have has helped me lose 7 lbs in the past 2 months. Disapointment~~I love having people home when I come home from work when they say they're going to be there.

What makes me feel even more terrible is that it makes me feel like sUUch a hypocrite. Sure, I look semi-fit, but I'm the heaviest female trainer at work, and that doesn't look good with me being the youngest...and I hate that I can't just beat down the devil when he tells me that taking care of myself by eating healthy isn't worth it since I'm chubby anyways! I KNOW it's not true...but when I get in the middle of a storm of emotions, I hear that and believe it's true...

Anyways, so we're going to Seven Falls and Pike's Peak today...hopefully...Daddy's in denial of his age and health status, so he's gotten a little altitude sickness !already! and I'm praying he'll be willing to drink more water and maybe eat a little better today...

Oh, and I appreciate everyone's tips as far as me selling PT sessions at Bally. I know for a fact I'm not pushy, since I HaTe selling...my schpeal right now is to at the end of the consultation ask them if they were interested in possibly getting PT sessions if they feel motivation lacking/they begin to plateau or get bored, and then I just quote them a few prices and give them options and hand them my business card with my cell phone number if they need me. Either people want it, or they don't. Making people feel too fat to work out or like they can't do it on their own isn't my mission. I L<3ve fitness, working out is my passion, and I want others to be healthy! If I have one really really h!gh aspiration for my life, it would be to be the trainer that takes this nation's obesity epidemic back down to miniscule proportions and have every American~~~and foreigners who live in America~~~active and moving every day =D

Life this week

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:34:10 GMT

Early morning first workouts, yay!

See, when you join Bally you get a free 1-hr session with a personal trainer. Being new, that means I have to get in there with the veterans and grab new members, take them through a good workout ~as well as establish good rapport and make my face familiar around the building...and working out so they can see I know what I'm talking about~ and get them to be REAL clients so that I can actually get paid to do this! I had no idea how much of a selling job it is, naive moi believed that people would be walking up to me everyday asking to get 8 or 16 sessions...

I have to remember to SLooooooooooooooooooooW down. Everywhere. Let the staff get used to the newbie. Let the regulars chat me up. Let the clientele have time to become aware of my existance.

Other than that, I can't really complain about anything. Work's pretty much been my week. Did some housewife stuff like grocery shopping and cleaning...and of course, working out a bit.

sMiLe! (=

Writer's Block: Meaningful Words

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 06:57:14 GMT

What is your favorite quote? And why?

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Wherever you go---there you are.

You're unique---just like everyone else!

Supermodels! Ha! Nothing super about them, silly spoiled little stick figures with puffy lips that think only of themselves!

There is always choice.

There is always an escape.

I Do.

~*~*~*These are a few of the quotes that I'm always quoting...*~*~*~

About a Month

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:03:30 GMT

Hey ya'll!

So it's been about a month since I started taking pix every Friday in my Tapout bikini, visually charting my progress so I have motivation to stick to my clean eating and workouts! I must say, it's kind of fun playing model...and finding little bitty changes from week to week. I've been doing my "lifting" at home for the most part the past 2 weeks (light weights, high high reps) and doing lots of plyo, jumping rope, and jogging. I start work today *YAY!* so I'll be able to get back to real lifting tonight =D

Still working on the diet for the abs and chest...

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

sMiLe! =)

Writer's Block: That's So Cliché

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 15:12:45 GMT

Which, ahem, "internets" clichés do you wish would go away already?

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First, I have to defend LOLCats...mainly because my cat's made it on there a couple times, and I find kitties irresistable...although I do agree that I often have to thinking about reading them because the spelling is so atrocious, and some are a little too crude for my taste....

I would have to say that what I wish would go away are::

1) teeny-boppers and middle-schoolers acting like they're 21+ *drinking and sex and drugs really aren't that cool at your age*

2) ditto for the 30+ crowd acting like they're younger than 25 *it's ok to be your age, really!*

3) R *are*

4) c *see*

5) Actually, in general, the bad grammar and spelling...I understand 'thru' 'ic' 'cuz' but there's a HUGE difference between quick IM spellings an blatant inability to spell!

6) MYSPACE and all the drama that went with it. *stop endorsing whorism!*

Those are my internet rants. =D Overall, I love the availability of my friends across the country, games to play, info to read and learn that's here for me at the touch of a key. And of course, all my writers and readers here on LJ <3

Being Female

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 01:49:53 GMT

Sometimes I think this transition from college to real-world is way worse than transitioning from adolescence to teenagerhood.

Maybe it's because of the way I was sick last year, I'm going through another puberty. Seriously. And it sucks. Now I understand why it happens to us when we're too young to analyze it so much. Going through everything at this time of my life makes me just think and cry and be frustrated and want to give up.

Ever notice how youngsters don't get these feelings of hopelessness? Kids don't know about limitations and the feeling of giving up.

Ask a kindergartener to draw and sing, and they'll do both. Ask them when they're in 2nd grade, and they'll draw you the dog they've practiced most and their favorite song's chorus. Ask them when they're in 8th grade and they'll say they can neither draw nor sing. They've stopped trying.

Maybe it's just me. I've always had an "on/off" switch, as Daddy so foundly used to say. My emotions twist and raise and drop faster than Top Thrill Dragster.

Or maybe I just always chose to feel the wrong things.

bug bug bug

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 00:44:56 GMT

So I had posted some pix to a comm here...fitspirational women of muscle and strength...and someone had commented on how one of the chics looked too "thin" and "not toned". The female in question was definitely a fitness model, so yeah she was trim and not ripped, but she was showcased demonstrating exercizes, and has real strength and fintess.

It made me mad. Honestly. We women pick and pry and nag eachother. We complain about "celebrities" being too skinny or ana then we say that healthy women aren't bulky enough, then the ripped women are too much like men...

Will it ever stop???

This really made me gggggrrrrrr::I like both Oxygen and SHAPE. Oxygen's a little more hardcore bodybuilding, SHAPE's more healthy for the general public; since I think I'm the mix, I like both. Anyways, Angie Harmon was on the cover of a previous SHAPE, and she's a great woman. One who has kids, eats healthy, and is active enough that she doesn't need the gym. So a reader sent in a comment that said, "Having a great body by virtue of genetics does not make an individual a great role model!"

WHAT?!?!? Why not? Because she doesn't spend hours away from her kids so she can be in a gym? Because she can ne healthy the natural way? I don't understand?

Sure, we're jealous. But admit it, I mean I could be leaner too if I are the right thing all the time. But I like to eat. So I need to work out a little more.

We NEED to stop making it all about the hours in the gym and the size of our thighs! Honestly, it's disgusting!

Great role models can be healthily thin women who don't work out, hefty bulky women who do spend a lot of time in the gym, mothers whose only cardio is chasing their kids around the playground all afternoon, single gals climbing their way up thru the glass ceiling and the stairmaster at the same time, the woman who runs the bookstore down the street, the chic CEO of a global corporation...

Writer's Block: Work & Self-Worth

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 14:55:42 GMT

Does your current occupation affect your self-worth?

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Fill in the blanks:
I am _____________.
I am _____________.
I am _____________.
I am _____________.
I am _____________.

When I did this 2 years ago in my social psych class, I filled in the blanks with "a student" "a daughter" "a lover" "joyful" and "strong". I had listed 'student' first, and for the past couple years, 'student' has filled in the blank on forms asking for my occupation. And for 20 years of my life, my worth HAS been based on that occupation.

Since graduating, I've been feeling a bit...lost.

I haven't had a chance to start my new job yet~~ for which I am uberexcited for!~~but this question is a good one.

I think everyone's self-worth, to a great degree, is based on their job, occupation, or lack of one. What we do shapes how we feel, how competent we view ourselves, how positively or negatively we think of our lives based on the feedback we get from where we spend most of our time::at work.

Writer's Block: That's Crazy

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 15:19:28 GMT

What's the craziest thing you've done in 2008?

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I guess technically it was end of 2007, but in the span of one month I graduated college *2 years early*, got married, and moved across the country. Semi-crazy, right??? I feel that way. And I've enjoyed every minute of it!

I've learned a lot this week. ~~I've learned that I need to breathe before I panic, and that has the power to calm me down enough to keep the situation under check.~~I've learned that I can shut up the negative voices in my head...when I want to...now I have to figure out how to not give in to them...~~I've learned that yes, there is always a ray of light when the day is dark and unrelentless.

Looking forward to the fight tonigt *shhh don't tell hubby he thinks I'm still learning and he's making me like it*

Keep smiling!

Can 1 Good Overshadow all the Bad?

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 16:05:44 GMT

So here was my day yesterday::

got up early and drove Dan on base for PT.

2) went home, got directions and got ready for the day

3) drove to almost Denver~Englewood's like a little nicer Brookpark area right before the actual city of Denver

4) got there an hour early so I sat inside and read

5) found out the woman wouldn't accept anything other than my military ID because she needed to have 2 forms of ID with my married last name

6) showed her the marriage certificate, told her I was waiting on the copies so I could get a new SSC and driver's license and passport, but she refused to budge

7) argued a tad more by showing her all my forms~birth cert., passport, SSC, OH license~then how my maiden name is on the marriage cert. as well as my married name, then showed her my military ID and how all the SSN on each matched

8) pardon my French, but not being as big of a bitch as she was, I left like she said I had to

9) cried a lot in the truck before I drove away

10) called my boss, Nathan, who apologized profusely, saying that girl was a sub and it shouldn't have been a problem because he had talked to the head woman about me before I went up there

11) Nathan called me back and asked where I was::I was already halfway back, so he said he'll figure something out so I can get in this week

12) filled up the truck with gas cuz it was on E, then visited Dan during lunch

13) went to the DMV because I wanted to get a new license and tags for my car

14) woman at door gave me one number for each thing I needed

15) both numbers were called at the same time; was snapped at by the lady at the license counter because I was only supposed to have 1 number *yes obviously MY fault your door woman messed up*

16) went to the license counter; needed proof of insurance so I had to get out of line to call our insurance man and have him fax it

17) waited until my service dude was free again, then had to wait for the fax to come through

18) finally obtained another temp tag and copy of insurance

19) got new number for driver's license

20) waited

21) got to counter and found out they don't issue transfers or renewals to under-21ers

22) went home to tape my tag in my window and drove the mustang to pick up Dan from work

23) had to use a different entrance since my car isn't registered on base yet, and missed it b/c of construction and got semi-lost

24) irritated Dan by having to wait an extra forever because then I got lost on-base

Oh...and I had to maneuver the truck through a parking garage...we have a Chevy Silervado 1500 Z2 (or some kind of initial like that).

So I had one positive experience yesterday. I can now drive my car again! But I was so frustrated about how nothing else went right, I cried all the way from picking the man up from work until about a hlaf hour after being home. It all went ok after that, he settled me down, I made dinner and we snuggled for a bit before turning in early for the night. I think I needed rest!

I haven't started my orientation yet, but I have started on a new vision for how to not binge, handle my emotions and eat the way my body deserves.

Here's to letting the one good thing make the whole cloud silver.

Sweet Success

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 22:52:13 GMT

Thanks for the lucky wishes for my interview today...it helped, because I landed the job!!! I am now Bally Total Fitness' newest trainer (and the only female; one other doesn't train too much because she's the aerobics manager, and the other is a full-time student doing MMA training so she comes around once a month).

Haven't been that nervous in a loooong time. I have orientation this week...hopefully I'll get the title for my car (I got a yellow 2005 Mustang convertable 2 weeks ago but haven't been able to drive it since the tags got stolen) so I don't have to be playing drop-ff/pick-up with the man.

I'm sooo pumped. It's been a nice break, kind of like summer vacation as a kid::no job, no worries. Except that I was being the Ladie's Home Journal Wife of the Year by being home all day every day, it's winter so I couldn't get out much, and I did have to worry about adult responsibilities. Yeck. Why do we grow up?

And mentioning MMA, I'm looking into doing some form of training. I've only taken kickboxing as a college class, and of course cardio kickboxing, and sparring with my hubby...but I have no idea where to start. Any suggestions?

Hope ya'll are having a good weekend :D

smiLeS!

Ups and ups and down?

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 06:06:41 GMT

The high from last night lasted all through this afternoon. Such a nice change to wake up positive and have it last awhile!

I had a decent cardio session today, split into two so that was nice. Thought the man was coming home from work early so I took a nap with the intention of him waking me up...but he got home later than expected so I slept the afternoon away! Then we went to Fight Factory...pumped about possibly starting MMA training there. Then we had church...we were recording a new CD and it was so awesome. But because of that, we got home at 10p and just finished dinner (broccoli, califlower and shrimp). Since I had lunch at 3p, I was doing ok, but man is my tummy not happy with me right now!

So I'm catch between not wanting to go to bed with food in my belly, being tired, and being nervous for my interview tomorrow. Plus I'm a little livid b/c we got in a bickering on the way home...

Oh yeah. So while making dinner I totally chowed down on a cheese stick and about 5 pieces of chocolate; partly out of ravenous hunger, partly out of frustration b/c hubby's being a brat and making me upset. Prolly what made my tummy ache.

Should be an interesting weekend. Interview, laundry, Fight Factory (FF), movie...hopefully no more binges and hopefully time to work out!

Sweet Dreams 0:-}

EEk!

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 11:43:53 GMT

MMMK, so the 'cleansing' went well...I was actually able to sustain it for about 30 hours for ONE reason::I was nervous and excited and anxious...

I talked to the PT manager at Bally's and he asked me to come in last night to fill out a paper application (what was the point of taking 30 min to do one on-line then?!?!?) because he needs a female trainer, I have an awesome certification, and he wanted to put a face to the name and set up an interview =D I was stoked!

I looked professionally chic, landed an interview for Sat morning, and hubby decided to take me out to dinner. O'course no one could decide on where to go, so we ended up at IHOP. Thanks to the way my day had went, though, and I felt so good from the fast and lifting (although my body WaS aching for protein) I resisted the crepes<---best ever, pancakes, waffles and syrup and got the shrimp salad and fruit bowl. Major disapointment because 1) the shrimp was deep fried 2) it was a Caesar salad. I hAtE Caesar salads in general, not a big fan of the dressing or parmesian cheese...and fried=terribly unhealthy. But we wErE there to semi-celebrate (he didn't want me to have to cook when we got home) so I had the shrimp with the pieces of lettuce not soaked in whiteness, and enjoyed my fruit as dessert. I left guilt-free and pumped for the weekend.

I was thinking that evening when we got home how I wanted to go for a walk...all I had to do, though, was put on a sexii little VS 'night mini dress' and got a nice long fullfilling sexvascular workout.

To Be Mad or Not to Be Mad

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 12:22:44 GMT

So last night I started studying with my hubby for a class we're supposed to be going to tonight.

And he fell asleep.

He aLwAyS falls asleep.

It's soooooooooo frustrating. He knows I get upset, and yet for whatever reason, he can't keep himself awake when we start to do something I'm interested in: movies, books, conversations....love love love the man, tho...

Anyways, so today starts my uber disciplined cleansing. Haven't done this since the summer, and that never really ended well (or as well as I would have liked).

Here's to will power!

Set in Writing

Wed, 20 Feb 2008 21:41:01 GMT

I had started LJ a little over a year ago, but let it go because I was so lost I thought getting out my thoughts into words was pointless. Now here I am searching for a way to weave through the murk of what I've become. What better way to decipher my mind than this.

It's incredible what I've been through in the past year. I went from the happiest and healthiest I've ever been, to the sickest and twistedest of my life, to the unhealthiest and uncontrollable I've ever become.

I've half-heartedly put in efforts to overcome, to reclaim the perfection I had owned, to be at a level that I had only dreamed I could reach yet still obtained only to lose it in less than a blink of an eye.

But this is it. I'm setting my mind to it. I have goals (20 lbs by April, skinny jeans), I have reasons (detox, addiction breakage, honeymoon, sexiness, job), I have a time span (5 days) to get a kickstart...and I now have the LJ community as my support.

I enjoy my life now and where I am. But I long for what was, and I want to make the persent even more perfect by again grasping the good that was.

Until I type again...